By JAN LARSON McLAUGHLIN
BG Independent News
After dating for nine years, Dayna Fackler and Camden Carsey planned the perfect wedding. The dresses, flowers, photographer, music and cake were picked out and a reception hall for 300 guests was reserved.
Then the coronavirus pandemic hit.
In a matter of days, years of dreams and Pinterest searches were dashed.
“It’s definitely added stress. I had one good cry,” said Fackler, a 2014 graduate of Otsego High School.
“He witnessed my one cry,” she said of Carsey, a 2014 graduate of Bowling Green High School.
Their Bowling Green wedding was scheduled for June 20 – and it’s not officially postponed yet.
“It’s still up in the air at this point,” Carsey said. “We’re going to give it until May 1.”
But the couple does not want to compromise the health of their family, guests and bridal party.
“I’m definitely stressed,” Carsey said. “I’ve never ‘Pinterested, but it’s definitely a very important day to me. I don’t want anyone to get sick” – especially grandparents.
So they were faced with some big decisions.
Should they have a very small wedding on their original June 20 date, and hold a reception later?
“We went back and forth on that a lot,” Fackler said. “Originally we were going to get married then.”
But Fackler decided she didn’t want to compromise parts of the wedding that could not be done during the coronavirus stay-at-home order.
She wants to have the traditional walk down the aisle, the wedding showers, the bachelorette party.
So the couple decided to pick a back-up wedding date – potentially pushing their nuptials to the end of November. Amazingly, all the vendors were able to move to the new date.
“We got so lucky,” Fackler said.
After sending out “save the date” cards to their 300 guests, the couple is now poised to order “change the date” cards.
The only snag with the new date is that it happens to fall on the same day as the Ohio State – Michigan football game.
“I’m a big football fan,” Carsey said, adding that he’s willing to forgo the game this year. The bigger issue may be Fackler’s family – with several members being big OSU fans.
“They can stream it – just keep it on silent,” Fackler said.
Both the bride and groom are still working through the pandemic. Carsey is working in project management on a wind tunnel at Ford Company. Fackler is a recruiter for Speedway.
A shift to a fall wedding may mean some changes. The original plans for bright summery flowers may be switched to fall foliage. But Fackler is approaching it with a positive attitude – and plenty of help again from Pinterest.
“I’m trying to look at the bright side,” she said, noting she has been researching jackets for the bridesmaids’ dresses.
Meanwhile, the couple’s unofficial wedding planners – moms Dee Fackler and Sandi Carsey – are trying to stay upbeat.
“I feel like the moms are trying so hard to be positive for me,” Fackler said. They even came up with a plan for a “virtual” wedding shower if necessary.
The couple realizes even their Plan B may require a Plan C – depending on the status of the coronavirus pandemic.
“We’re going to have to play it by ear,” Carsey said.
The wedding party includes one bridesmaid flying in from California, plus groomsmen from New York, Chicago, Atlanta and Washington, D.C.
But if their back-up plan is stalled, they may turn to a more drastic remedy.
“We’re eloping. I don’t care,” Fackler said.
“That’s fine with me,” Carsey replied.
The coronavirus pandemic is getting in the way of many couple’s plans for wedding bliss.
“I’ve never seen anything of this magnitude and reach,” said Brooke Lauber-Cobb, who has been in the wedding planning business for 27 years. Her Perrysburg business, Bee For the Day, is coordinating 96 weddings this year – with 21 of those now in limbo.
Some trying to squeeze a wedding in this fall are finding they may have to go with a non-traditional day of the week. “Fall was pretty booked up already,” she said.
Others are waiting even longer.
“Some don’t want to pick a date in the fall. They picked the spring for a reason,” Lauber-Cobb said.
Rescheduling weddings can be quite tricky, since there are so many vendors involved – the venue, food, alcohol, reception, music, photographer, videographer, cake, hair and make-up, dresses, tuxedos and florists. There may be a contract in place from hotel rooms.
“It’s like gambling,” to try to pick a date that will work with the originally selected vendors, Lauber-Cobb said. “The chances of getting that same dream team are limited.”
Laurie Perry, an event planner at the Renaissance Hotel in Toledo, said rescheduling a wedding means putting together several pieces to create the perfect event.
“That’s really tricky,” said Perry, who has been working in event planning for 11 years. “It’s hard. You have deposits with all these vendors.”
Some couples are opting for small courthouse nuptials, or posting wedding ceremonies on Zoom or Facebook Live, then holding a reception later. But most are holding out for a traditional wedding.
“It’s very emotional,” Perry said. “They have friends coming from far away.”
“This is their special day. We definitely feel for a lot of these clients, these brides,” she said, noting the need to be sensitive right now. “I feel like sometimes we’re the therapist.”
Lauber-Cobb agreed that the pandemic has filled brides with anger and frustration.
“We’re all mad at stupid COVID,” she said. “They’re grieving what they planned for their wedding day.”
“I think there’s some resentment that they have to sacrifice” their dream day, Lauber-Cobb said. “We need to give these brides the grace they deserve right now. It really is their emotional rollercoaster.”
As a wedding planner, Lauber-Cobb said she can help couples over the rough spots, and point out the positives. “You’re still going to have a day – it’s just not this day,” she said.
