By JULIE CARLE
BG Independent News
(This article is about suicide and September’s Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org to chat online.)
There are many ways to “start the conversation” after a loss from suicide of a family member or friend.
“Say their name. Do something in their memory,” Jessica Hartman and Courtney Rice suggested during a recent National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) of Wood County September Remembrance event.
For the fifth year, NAMI Wood County hosted the event during September’s Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. The event remembered local residents whose lives were lost to suicide and provided a safe and shame-free space for individuals to grieve and normalize the grief that comes with suicide loss.
“Start the conversation” is a national NAMI initiative, but it’s more focused on talking about mental health when people are struggling and know how to ask for help.
“That was not the message we wanted to give for the memorial,” Hartman said. “There’s enough guilt associated with how their loved one died. We changed the focus on messages of hope and resilience.”
“It’s so important to say their name,” she said. “How often do we have a feeling of shame and embarrassment when we talk about our loved one, especially with how they died? Instead, share their names so you can remember how they lived.”
Hartman and Rice recommended individuals do something in memory of their loved ones. They could make a donation in their name to an organization that meant something to them, celebrate their accomplishments in life through a social media post or put out decorations that are reminders of them or their favorite holidays.
Talking openly about the way they died can help to reduce the stigma, but Hartman said it’s even better to focus on how they lived to honor their memory.
Every day in Ohio, five people will die by suicide leaving devastation in the wake of emotional destruction, making it a leading cause of death. Those statistics can be an important part of the conversation, as well, she said.
In Wood County, the numbers usually average between 14 and 20 suicide deaths each year. This year, that number could be higher. “Our suicide rate is starting to climb compared to last year, which is mirroring the national statistics,” she said. “I don’t know where we are going to land right now because as of August, we are already close to our threshold, and we have another whole quarter to get through.”
And because the risk of suicide increases when a loved one has died by suicide, it’s important to know when to reach out for help, Rice said. There are many resources available including the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling or texting 988, a Crisis Text Line by texting “NAMI” to 741-741, or the local Wood County Crisis Line at 419-502-4573 (HOPE).
“If you know someone who has experienced this loss, encourage them to reach out for the appropriate help,” she added.
NAMI dedicated a memorial bench in loving memory of Wood County individuals affected by mental illness, Rice said. The bench was installed at the Wood County Museum’s herb garden in 2020, and provides a peaceful space for reflection.
“We wanted to place the bench at the museum because of its historical tie to mental health,” Hartman said. The museum was the former Wood County Home, which was home to the poor, mentally ill, physically disabled and anyone in Wood County who needed public assistance.
NAMI staff members read out loud the first names of Wood County individuals who lost their battle to mental illness in recent years. “We have people who were affiliated with NAMI who didn’t die by suicide, but their mental health conditions deteriorated their health so much that they lost their life, so we try to bring awareness to that as well,” Hartman said.
The event, which was attended by about a dozen people, is designed to bring people with shared experiences together to demonstrate the power of community.
“You are not alone in your grief,” Hartman said. “There are people to support you.”
Another conversation started
Prudence Brott, founder and owner of Sunset Bistro in Bowling Green, and her staff are doing their part in supporting Suicide Prevention Awareness Month by starting the conversation in a different way.
Brott had an idea late one night about how important it is for the community to think about what others are going through.
She purchased shirts for everyone on the staff that spell out positive messages of hope to people who might need to see the messages. Starting in September, that’s exactly what they are doing.
“They were all on board, no questions asked,” Brott said. “They appreciated that we could do something positive like this.” Because just like most people, they were not immune to the sense of loss and grief associated with suicide.”
Most people have known someone whose life ended to soon because of struggles with mental health, Brott said.
Their back-of-the-T-shirt messages include:
- “Tomorrow Needs You 988,” referencing the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
- “Dear Person Behind Me. Continue. You Matter. You Are Loved. Love, The Person in Front of you.”
- “Stay. Tomorrow Needs You.”
- “No Story Should End Too Soon.”
“It’s important that we send a positive message out there to reach people we might know, or for someone who’s struggling, to let them know there is help,” Brott said. “I think it’s important to spread that word.”
The shirts were purchased with September Suicide Awareness Month in mind, but Brott extended the plan. “It’s just one of your work shirts now, so you can wear it anytime throughout the whole year,” she told the staff. “The need for compassion and empathy toward others doesn’t end in September.”
In fact, Brott is already thinking ahead to next year and how she can expand the messaging and the outreach. “Be on the lookout for something bigger,” she said. “Just keep in mind, that we don’t know what people are going through on any particular day. Think about reaching out to your neighbors, your friends, your family and make sure everyone’s OK.”
