By JULIE CARLE
BG Independent News
Olympic gold and bronze medalist and twice world champion diver Tom Daley is a beacon for LGBTQ rights.
He captivated and charmed a theater full of fans and spectators at Bowling Green State University Thursday night with tales of his 21-year diving career, reflections on his LGBTQ advocacy journey and even a groaner of a dad joke.
Adrenaline-seeking diver
Daley, who grew up in the United Kingdom, started diving when he was seven years old and seven years later, he competed in the Beijing Olympics.
“There’s something about diving that I found so captivating. I’m a little bit of an adrenaline seeker. I love doing things that kind of scare me a little bit, whether that be roller coasters, theme parks, horror movies or anything that you shouldn’t like but you do,” he said.
The adrenaline rush is important with each dive because without it, complacency can sabotage a diver’s concentration. “Every time I go up on the (diving) platform, I’m terrified. Anytime I’ve ever gotten used to standing on the edge, something goes wrong,” he said. “Without that hyper vigilance I think you’d make a lot more mistakes.”
Over time, Daley has learned to stay focused by balancing fear and relaxion using visualization, breathing and meditation techniques. That balance is crucial because of the high stakes of the Olympic games that comes down to six dives every four years, Daley said.
“I try to visualize a dive like I’m watching it on TV or sometimes like I’m actually in the dive. I try to do that a number of times before I go off the platform so I am comfortable with it,” he explained.
He also has recently added knitting to his relaxation process when there is time in between dives. Knitting keeps him calm and became his way “to get out of my head and be calm.”
Daley recently launched Made With Love, knit kits to encourage others to experience the same kind of joy he found in knitting.
The start of advocacy and beyond
Daley’s advocacy for gay rights started after his own coming out in 2013. There had been speculation of his sexuality, but in 2013 he met and started a relationship with U.S. screenwriter, director and producer Dustin Lance Black.
He had a lot of people telling him he shouldn’t come out for fear of losing his fan base and the sponsorships and income that were helping to support his family after his father’s untimely death in 2011. They also were concerned about him competing in countries where it was illegal to be gay.
He chose to come out through social media because that was the vehicle he used to communicate with the most people. He created a You Tube video where he could say exactly what he wanted without having to answer follow-up questions. “That felt very empowering to take control of my own story,” he said.
He and Black married in 2017 and had a son through surrogacy in 2018.
During the 2018 Commonwealth Games, he won a gold medal in synchronized diving and came to understand that “in two-thirds of the Commonwealth it was illegal to be me. I was thinking how lucky I am” to live freely as a gay man in his country. With that realization, his activism started to kick in.
Black, whose screenplay for the 2008 film, “Milk,” suggested Daley watch the film about the gay San Francisco politician Harvey Milk to better understand queer history.
According to Daley, Black told him, “Maybe you should think a little about so many people who came before you to understand the privilege you have now.”
“It’s not just understanding history but having the appreciation for what’s come before and not get complacent with where we are now. If we don’t continue to keep fighting and speaking up for the rights we have today, they will get taken away,” Daley said.
In 2021, Daley was one of a few gay men to win a gold medal at the Tokyo Olympics that were delayed a year because of COVID-19. After the win, he sent a message directly to LGBTQ youth that they were not alone.
“In my live press conference, I said I was proud to be an Olympic champion that happens to be a gay man as well. This should send a message to all queers out there that you have a place in sport, and you can be an Olympic champion,” Daley said.
Over the past year, the elite diver started a campaign – “It’s Illegal to Be Me” – to champion for the rights of queer people. His idea focused on countries that had anti-LGBTQ laws.
“I thought those countries should not have the privilege of hosting major, international sport competitions,” he said. However, he discovered when he talked to athletes from anti-LGBTQ countries, they were worried that they would be seen as the problem.
“With the Commonwealth, the reason these laws exist is because of colonial era laws, so for a white, British person to come over and say you can’t host the Commonwealth Games is a further form of oppression,” Daley admitted.
He changed his stance; instead of saying they can’t have the event, he suggested they include the organization’s values by allowing a pro-LGBTQ opening ceremony and Pride flags throughout the event.
Daley was able to use his platform at the British Commonwealth Games in 2022. He was recognized as an elite athlete who was outspoken about nations with homo-negative and anti-LGBTQ laws. As millions of people watched the opening ceremony, he carried the Queen’s baton and behind him were six queer activists and athletes carrying pride flags.
“It was an incredibly powerful, visible promotion of who we are,” he said. “It was evident seeing that pride flag, which we probably take for granted on most days, that it is a beacon of hope, safety, security and protection.”
