By JAN McLAUGHLIN
BG Independent News
Death is a difficult topic. But to some, talking about death allows them to get on with life.
To offer a space for those conversations, the Wood County Senior Center in Bowling Green will host “a place to talk about death” on Oct. 14, from 1 to 2:30 p.m. The gathering will offer a welcoming, non-judgmental space where people can talk openly about death and dying.
The gathering will be facilitated by Taylor Harrison, a death doula, Carol Kinsey, a retired hospice nurse, and Margaret Montague, who along with Kinsey hosts death and dying discussions in the community.
The goal is to help make the topic of death less taboo and to encourage meaningful conversations that can provide comfort, according to Wood County Committee on Aging Social Services Director Lisa Myers.
Myers stressed the gathering will not be a support group or a grief counseling session, but rather a chance to share thoughts, ask questions, and reflect on life in a relaxed, respectful environment. For that reason, attendance will be limited to 15 people. Registration is required by calling 419-353-5661 or 1-800-367-4935.
Offering the discussions on death at the senior center makes sense, Harrison said.
“It may be a little bit more of a pressing reality” for older adults, she said.
Talking about dying can be helpful to those closer to the end of their lives, and to those who will be left behind.
“A lot of our clients feel they can’t talk about death with their family members,” Myers said. “A lot of those conversations are shut down in families.”
Oftentimes it’s fear that prevents these difficult discussions.
“I think people think talking about death will bring death soon,” Harrison said.
But it can be comforting for families to discuss death before it occurs.
Topics can include heavy issues like funeral plans, obituaries, wills, plans to donate their body to science, burial options, documents that need to be in order, how a person wants to be memorialized, and how they want to be cared for at the end of their life.
“Grief is already so hard,” Harrison said. “When most of those decisions are made, it helps.”
“Getting clear on these things can help family dynamics,” Harrison said.
Discussions can allow families to plan “and then get on with life,” Montague said.
It may also be comforting to both the dying and those left behind to pare down possessions and determine who wants specific items – while a person is still alive.
“We need to normalize these conversations,” Kinsey said.
Some people benefit from talking about their fears of dying, Kinsey said. “It’s just good to say it out loud.”
Death and dying gatherings also allow people to learn from others about how they are handling the difficult conversations.
“People share their experiences that prompt a lot of conversations,” Kinsey said.
Yes, it can be a depressing topic. But there is often a sense of relief for all parties.
“We laugh all the time,” Kinsey said. “There are tears, but we actually have fun.”
