By JAN LARSON McLAUGHLIN
BG Independent News
For many people who have lost loved ones, the grief lingers long after the funeral. Long after the cards and flowers have stopped coming. Long after some friends or family return to normal lives and expect the bereft to do the same.
The path from mourning to joy can seem impossible.
To help those struggling with insurmountable grief, a program called GriefShare is being offered at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church in Bowling Green. The support group program is led by Jan Ruffner and Joan Staib, who have experienced grief – and healing.
Ruffner lost her husband, Jerry, in 2017, then her son, Jamie in 2021.
“My husband’s loss was hard enough, then Jamie …” she said of her 49-year old son, who was a beloved coach of BG Youth Hockey for more than 20 years. “A month after he was diagnosed with colon cancer, he was gone,” leaving behind his wife and three young daughters.
Staib, a mental health therapist, has experienced grief as well – losing a foster daughter to cancer and a nephew to COVID.
Both women stressed that GriefShare does not insist that people “get over” their grief.
“You don’t really get over it. It’s not a journey with an end,” Staib said. “People take as long as they need.”
In the initial aftermath of losing a loved one, people often feel a numbness that allows them to get through the shock of a loss. But when that numbness dissipates, the pain can be overwhelming – and some people try to power through.
“We have a culture that denies the need for grief work,” Staib said. “People just don’t understand. They want you to get over it.”
But GriefShare allows people to work through the mourning process. The support group offers an oasis with people who understand grief. The group will view videotapes of grief recovery experts, will discuss their personal experiences, and will journal to reinforce weekly sessions.
“So many people don’t get the help that they need. It never goes away,” Ruffner said.
But the support groups can help.
“This is an awesome program – everyone is so open,” Ruffner said.
“It gives them the permission to grieve,” Staib said. “God is the healer, and we just create the space.”
The 13-week program will begin Sept. 19, with daytime sessions from 1 to 3 p.m., and evening sessions from 6 to 7:30 p.m.
GriefShare is an interdenominational support group that walks alongside people grieving significant losses in their lives. Participants do not need to be people of faith to benefit from the program, Staib stressed.
The losses experienced don’t need to be fresh. People who have been grieving the loss of a loved one for years can benefit from the support group, Staib added.
People can join at any time during the 13-week program. There is a $20 registration fee that covers a participant workbook.
Anyone interested may call the church at 419-353-9305, Ruffner at 419-308-4072, or Staib at 419-308-1134. Information about the program can be found at www.griefshare.org.
