By JAN LARSON McLAUGHLIN
BG Independent News
The sweatpants weren’t seductive. The flannel shirt seemed far from provocative. And the cowl neck could not have been mistaken for a come-on.
But these were the clothes worn by local women who were sexually assaulted in Wood County. These were items they have listed to the oft-repeated question of “What Were You Wearing?”
To combat such “victim blaming rhetoric,” The Cocoon hosted an exhibit representing 17 assault survivors and the clothes they were wearing at the time.
“This is amplifying the voices of survivors of sexual assaults,” said Justina Fuqua-Black, education and outreach coordinator for The Cocoon.
In 2023, the clothing question is still asked of many survivors, Fuqua-Black said.
“That phrase is still used,” she said. “It places a lot of blame. What someone is wearing is never the cause of an assault.”
The exhibit set up at the BGSU Union was part of programming in recognition of Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, by The Cocoon, Wood County’s only comprehensive domestic and sexual violence agency.
The “What Were You Wearing?” displays began in 2013 at the University of Arkansas, as an exhibit to challenge victim-blaming rhetoric. The displays are a visual representation of a poem written by a survivor of sexual assault.
The writer notes the many times she was asked what she had been wearing when she was raped.
“if only it were so simple
if only we could
end rape
by simply changing clothes
“i remember also
what he was wearing
that night
even though
it’s true
that no one
has ever asked.”
Following are some of the stories shared by local sexual assault survivors, with the clothing they were wearing being displayed ….
Sandra, 19, was wearing a 1990s workout costume to celebrate Halloween at a downtown Bowling Green bar. While on the dance floor, a stranger penetrated her with his finger. While her friends were initially supportive, they later pressured Sandra to not go forward with the case.
Rosalee, 14, skipped out of school with a classmate, and went to her friend’s house, where they called two boys to come over. Rosalee consented to kissing, but said “no” once the boy began groping under her shirt. He pulled off her favorite jeans and raped her.
Ida, 60, was at a counseling session when she began to feel ill. Her counselor called a taxi to take her home, and told the driver that Ida wasn’t feeling well. The driver took her to the parking lot of an empty store and began grabbing her and touching her inappropriately. Ida was wearing a cowl neck shirt and sweatpants.
Beatrix, 19, was at a fraternity party when her date sexually assaulted her in the back seat of his car. She screamed and he stopped. The fraternity and sorority members were split in their support of Beatrix and her date. Beatrix did not tell her family of the assault.
Whitney was at a bar celebrating her 21st birthday when she went back to a house with friends. She went to a bedroom to sleep, when one of the residents of the house came into the room and locked the door. Her friends broke down the door in time to see the man zipping up his pants and laughing, as Whitney was curled up in a ball. The man received a two-year prison sentence. Her friends stopped supporting Whitney after a while, saying her personality changed after the rape.
Quinn, 19, was at a bar and stepped out to get some fresh air. The next thing she remembered was crying at a fast food restaurant. Her friends took her to the hospital for a sexual assault exam – which found semen on her jeans. Quinn has no recollection of the assault.
Laura, 19, was asked by a student in a residence hall for sex. She said “no,” but he did not listen. She has not told her parents, and her initially supportive friends decided it was taking Laura too long to heal. She was wearing a long-sleeve blouse and jeans.
Mariah, 35, the mother of two young girls, needed a ride after her husband was picked up for drunk driving. Her husband’s foster brother offered to drive her to the impound yard to get her husband’s car. Once back at her home, the man locked the door, threw her on the floor, and raped her while her two young children were in the room. So as to not traumatize them further, Mariah did not struggle or scream. The man served eight years in prison. Mariah was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans.
And Quilla, 15, was at a party, where she was not consuming alcohol. However, it was determined later that she had been drugged. She was raped in an upstairs bedroom by three males, ages 16, 17 and 19. The minors were sentenced to a juvenile facility, and the adult male was sentenced to four years in prison.
