By JAN LARSON McLAUGHLIN
BG Independent News
When Jordan and Abbey Cravens took in two foster children in 2019, they weren’t sure what lay ahead. After 579 days of sleep deprivation, tantrums, cuddles and hearing the magical word “mommy,” the Cravens had no doubt of their next step.
Last week, wearing their matching “Team Cravens” T-shirts, Abbey, Jordan, 3-year-old A.J., and 2-year-old Cohen became an official “forever family” in Bowling Green.
The typical toddlers were aware that last Wednesday was not a typical day. As they waited in the hallway at the Wood County Courthouse, the boys played with their toy cars on the ornate marble floor. They were scooped up occasionally by family members cooing gentle words of love.
A.J. spotted the elevator. “I want to go in the excavator,” he said.
When the time came, the boys’ new parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles filed into the courtroom. Other family and friends filled the Zoom screen, since seating was limited due to COVID.
The seriousness of the proceedings was lightened by A.J.’s inquisitiveness.
“Where’s the judge?” he asked.
“What is this?” he said, grabbing the microphone.
When Wood County Probate Judge Dave Woessner entered the courtroom, he put the moms at ease.
“Don’t worry about them. They can run all over the place,” Woessner said.
“We’ve lost control already,” Jordan Cravens conceded with a smile.
Jordan explained the couples’ desire to adopt A.J. and Cohen.
“On Oct. 18, 2019, our lives changed forever,” she said of the day she and Abbey became first time foster parents. “We know our path is different than most – and it will continue to be so.”
Woessner read some required legalese, then reached the moment all had been waiting for.
“Signing this order officially completes ‘Team Cravens,’” he said. “Congratulations everybody.”
“Thank you judge,” A.J. responded.
The judge presented both boys with mini gavels, then posed for photos with the new official family.
Family members took turns telling the boys to say “cheese,” and in one case gently telling Cohen, “take the blue thing out of your nose.”
This is life now for Abbey, Jordan, A.J. and Cohen. And they are loving it.
Prior to becoming “instant parents,” the couple had a satisfying life surrounded by family, and an English bulldog named Reggie. They are both employed at Bowling Green State University – Jordan as director of development, and Abbey as senior groundskeeper.
But something was missing. That turned out to be two toddlers, whose biological parents struggled with substance abuse and could not care for them. At that point, the brothers were 6 months and almost 2 years old.
“It was a huge shock to our system,” Jordan said. “We thought our house was baby and toddler proof – we were wrong.”
The boys had some developmental and trust issues. Learning to sit down together and eat meals was initially a challenge.
“Both boys needed a sense of routine,” Jordan said.
It didn’t help that COVID turned everyone’s lives upside down soon after they became a foster family.
The instant family was also an adjustment for Reggie – who was the only “child” prior to the boys moving in. But Reggie is now often found lying outside the boys’ bedroom doors at night. And he’s realized the fringe benefits.
“He knows whose chair to hang out under at the dinner table,” Jordan said.
Abbey’s and Jordan’s extended families came as part of the package for the two little boys. Cohen still does not talk much, but A.J. shared his view of the adoption as a family deal – with two sets of loving grandparents, several aunts and uncles, and instant cousins.
“Adoption day means I stay home forever,” A.J. said.
“We want them to know they are loved by so many people,” Abbey said.
The couple admitted that it was difficult not knowing if they would have to give the boys up.
“In some ways you have to protect yourself,” Jordan said. “You don’t let yourself fall all the way in love”
But that was easier said than done – especially when the boys began yelling “Mommy Abbey” or “Mommy Jordan” and running into their arms.
“It was everything I ever wanted,” Abbey said. “It was meant to be.”
Jordan’s mom, Jane Cravens, feels the same way about her two new grandsons.
“I absolutely, positively know those four belong together,” she said.
And like most toddlers, the boys are thrilled to spend time being spoiled by their new grandparents.
“They have told people that when they get the kids back, they have to undo everything I do,” Jane said with a grin.
On the adoption day, Woessner said adoption cases are so different from most of the probate and juvenile court cases he handles on a daily basis.
“These are some of the happiest cases we do – particularly cases that come out of the foster care system,” the judge said. “It provides an opportunity for a forever family for these children. It’s great to see.
Kim Merrow, the adoption specialist with Wood County Children’s Services, agreed.
“It’s a fantastic day,” she said, talking about the importance of keeping siblings together.
“They’re fantastic parents,” Merrow said of the Cravens. “They provide a great home. They truly love them. I’m really excited for this family.”
