By JAN LARSON McLAUGHLIN
BG Independent News
Tis the season – between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day – when people often come down with the “holiday blues.”
For some, the jolly holiday season of endless festivities and family gatherings brings on a case of depression and disappointment.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness in Wood County recently hosted a program on holiday blues and the following Seasonal Affective Disorder, which can linger long into the springtime.
Molly Whelan, from Wood County Hospital, shared tips on how to beat the blues – whether they just loom over the holidays or if they hang on throughout the winter.
First, you aren’t alone. Many people get overwhelmed with the stress of the holidays. The season brings sleepless nights, fatigue, overindulgence in food and drink, and overspending.
Many families try to “stretch a dollar till it screams,” Whelan said. “Buying for everyone on your list can be more of a burden than a joy.”
Those holiday bills may be followed by the expenses of cold weather car repairs, furnace repairs, and mounting credit card debt.
“That can snowball into disastrous proportions,” she said. “That isn’t what the holidays should be about.”
Whelan suggested worrying less about giving children as much as their peers get, and more about creating good memories.
“This isn’t about the big gifts,” she said. In fact, in all her childhood Christmases, she can recall just two presents – a bicycle and an Easy Bake Oven. “Let’s face it, most of us don’t remember the gifts we get.”
And just because someone gets you an unexpected gift, that doesn’t mean you have to rush out to reciprocate.
“Holidays are special because of who you are with and not what you have,” Whelan said.
However, sometimes that “who you are with” is part of the holiday stress.
“Families are complicated – even on their best day,” she said. Most families don’t fit the Hallmark mold. And behavior that is funny on TV can be difficult to deal with in real life, Whelan said.
Whelan suggested setting boundaries for families. Not every moment needs to be spent with relatives.
Further complicating family issues lately are strong political leanings.
“Those are difficult topics on any given day,” then throw in aunts, uncles and cousins and it can be a recipe for conflict.
“There are always people who drive you crazy,” Whelan said. “So have a ‘Plan B’ when ‘Plan A’ goes awry.”
For others, the inability to get home for the season can make the holidays miserable.
“Resist the urge to wallow,” she said, suggesting that people find ways to connect with family and friends.
For those who have lost loved ones, the holidays may seem unbearable. Whelan advised that people acknowledge the hurt and loss, then try to re-engage with new holiday traditions.
Often people set towering expectations, trying to recreate the perfect holiday from childhood. Stop beating yourself up, and accept the fact that you can’t do it all, she said.
Though the season may seem to be spinning out of control, take time to relax.
“Just breathe in and out,” Whelan said. “It doesn’t have to be an hour of meditation or a half hour of yoga.” Go for a walk, take a hot bath, read a few pages of a good book.
Dinner guests and overnight visitors don’t expect perfection. Don’t be fooled by the commercials that show picture perfect dinners and decorations.
And the demands of school and church events, plus work holiday parties will pass. Whelan suggested creating a “code word” with a spouse, so you can make an early exit from festivities if needed.
“It’s OK to say ‘no’ as well. You don’t have to go to every engagement,” she said.
As if Christmas expectations aren’t high enough, it’s followed by the pressure of New Year’s Eve, with the challenge of setting and achieving big goals for the next year.
Don’t overdo it with alcohol, which is a depressant. “It’s OK to carry around the same glass of wine” at a party. No one will know, Whelan said.
And curtail the craving to put on your jammies and curl up on the couch daily with a load of carbohydrates.
Though it’s last on your list – go exercise. “Get up and get moving. Get jazzed about things,” Whelan said.
Nine ways to manage the holiday blues:
- Limit alcohol.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Learn to say “No.”
- Be open to new traditions.
- Get support when mourning a loved one.
- Spend time with your loved ones.
- Exercise regularly.
- Do something fun to get over a recent breakup.
- Avoid overeating.
If the holiday season passes and you are still feeling depressed, the problem may be Seasonal Affective Disorder.
SAD, which is related to the change in seasons, starts in the fall and can linger into the spring. It can sap energy, cause moodiness and create a craving for carbs. In serious cases, it causes social withdrawal, school or work problems, and suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
“It is definitely a real thing,” Whelan said.
Many people who already suffer from depression, feel the sadness grow in the winter. It has been found that the reduction in sunlight during winter can mess with our moods and sleep patterns.
Treatments for SAD may include antidepressants, light box therapy that mimics the sun’s rays, Vitamin D, exercise, social interactions, and getting some sunlight.
Ten ways to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder:
- Exercise regularly – even though that may be the last thing you want to do.
- Make social plans instead of curling up on your couch and binge watching TV.
- Plan a trip – ideally to somewhere warmer and sunnier.
- Soak up the sun as often as possible, so bundle up and head outside.
- Open your drapes and let the light in.
- Try light box therapy.
- Consider seeing a therapist.
- Make room for “me time.”
- Avoid overloading on carbs, even if your body is craving those comfort foods.
- Take medication if needed.
